What (Not) To Wear (On TV)

It’s Kris here, with a fun dilemma. Let me just shout it out: Holy spandex, Batman, the Pixeladies are going to be on TV, and we don’t have a thing to wear! I know, back up. “You’re gonna be on TV?” you might be asking. Yep. We’ll be filming three segments for the long-running Quilting Arts TV. Well, of course, we have clothes to wear, but you should read what the TV producers DON’T want us to wear:

Black, White, and Red

Really? They say (and they would know) that white washes you out on camera. Wow. That explains why no one on TV sleeps in white bed sheets. Have you ever noticed  that? Now it all makes sense to me! I thought all TV characters had unnerving penchants for gray. But, I digress. Black and red might work in combination with other colors, the producers say, but not alone. Okay, let’s take a look at my closet and see what that leaves us with.

 

Sleeves and Turtlenecks

They like sleeves. As they so diplomatically put it, “Long or 3/4 length sleeves look best. Short sleeves and sleeveless do not look flattering on camera.” Well, I’d say I have flapping arms, but I live in sunny California, so my closet is full of sleeveless tops. At least I didn’t have to worry about turtlenecks. They really should be left for turtles, or at least to humans with necks. Hmm, where does that leave us?

 

Prints, Warm Clothing

Waah!! Some of my favorite clothes involve flowers! “It is advisable to avoid large floral or geometric prints. Also, avoid tiny stripes, polka dots or checks as they have a tendency to ‘dance’ on screen.” At least as far as warm clothing goes, I don’t have too much (again, I’m in the hot Sacramento valley). Is there anything left?

Yippee, several black and gray skirts and pants. Oh, and lots of pink. I guess I have proven once and for all which color I gravitate to. My mom always dressed me in pink and my older sister in blue. I rebelled against pink when I was in high school and never wore it, but I guess Mom’s always right, so I decided to embrace my pinkness! The only thing left to do is to cobble something together from this measly selection, which by the way, still includes my two gray sweaters for outdoor work. [Deb says: Uh, no. We’re going shopping this weekend.] I’m as curious as you are as to what Deb and I will be wearing. The TV producers suggest we bring several outfits in case “something planned is not suitable.” There may go my pinks! The segments will air next year. We’ll keep you posted.